A New Year’s resolution
(Sex and a year-round festival)
There are a number of things you can do to turn your life into a beautiful journey. They may not be easy and definitely they are not a magical solution but they are doable and effective.
First: Love yourself and show it. Societies teach us to look at ourselves as average and similar to everyone else. Conformity is a value inserted into us for a reason but in many cases, it overlives that reason. Smart people tend to underestimate themselves, while idiots overestimate their abilities and themselves.
To live a beautiful life, it is essential to appreciate yourself, to put your needs and preference ahead of others and be frank about it. You have one life and you are responsible for yourself. Don’t waste your life seeking to please others. Remember that people change their mind and views all the time. The ones who love you conditionally don’t really love you – they simply love taking advantage of you. It is essential to make sure that your feelings are reciprocated. You really don’t want to discover one day that you wasted the best years of your life helping and worrying about people who are no longer part of your life, for whom you don’t mean anything and who don’t mean anything for you anymore – but after the fact.
You have one life and you can decide how to live it. Do you want to be one of those people who choose to be miserable and enjoy the pettiness of others? Do you want to live obsessed by what others think? Belong to those who take up causes and spend money and energy just to look good in the eyes of the herd? Some people are an echo of the news channel to which they are addicted. They are controlled by the anchors and the directors. Their lives are nothing but constant stress and worry. Then, there are the mature ones, resilient enough to live their life the way that pleases them, to be independent in their thought and sociable. The ones who succeeded in surrounding themselves with people they love.
For a happy life, it is essential to be flexible but at the same time loyal to your values. There is a fine balance between being able to listen to different points of view and considering them, which is essential for growth, and at the same time keeping your principles and staying at peace with your thoughts and feelings, which is essential for psychological wellbeing. Practice makes the master.
Second: As a human you have many weaknesses. You can surrender to these weaknesses and become an evil loser or deny their existence and torture yourself for every mistake that you didn’t intend to commit. Controlling one’s desires, judging oneself fairly, admitting one’s mistakes is what differentiates a decent human from a psychopath. Being oversensitive, harsh on yourself, extreme in your judgment, is counterproductive, spoils your life and makes you vulnerable to mental disorders.
Third: Desires are what motivates humans to keep living. The urge to fulfil your desires and the satisfaction when you do are among the most beautiful things in life. For some people it is to succeed in a career, in family, or love – or all that. Do not deny, supress, or sublimate your desires. Yes, it is alright to hate some people and it is fine to need someone, just don’t deceive yourself or others about it. Understand what you want from your relationships, from your work, from your family and be frank about it. Also think about what you are willing to give. There is no point in lying about your feelings or abilities and misleading yourself or others.
The sexual desire is the most important human drive. People who have an optimum sexual life are extremely happy. Satisfying this basic instinct is related to all types of benefits: good health, success at work, success in social relationships, and much more. Thus, many lie about their sexual life. Many tend to have multiple partners and short-term relationships to elevate their low self-esteem. Many men and women think that by having various adventures (and bragging about them) they would make others jealous. Optimum sexual life has very little to do with the number of partners or even their public persona. The same can be said about the frequency of sex or its duration. Great sex is about two people who desire each other, care about each other, and want to do it at the same time.
Fourth: Humans are not perfect, it is alright to make mistakes, not alright to keep making the same mistakes, and not fine to hurt yourself or others, especially the ones that care about you and the ones that did not hurt you.
Fifth: Avoid people whose company you simply do not enjoy. People are not equal; they have never been and will never be. We have different genetic makeup, diverse IQ, culture, languages, beliefs, personalities, and hence, abilities and desires. Try to find people around whom you feel yourself. Remember, people can be extremely pleasant or extremely horrible. Others can make your life hell or heaven.
Sixth: Be honest with yourself: you don’t have to do things you don’t want to do, most importantly, don’t say what you don’t believe. It is fine to hold unacceptable beliefs and controversial ideas: all the important thinkers were considered extreme and controversial before people accepted them and embraced their ideas. It is extremely distressing to create and hold a cognitive dissonance.
Finally, satisfy your needs; don’t shy away from your human nature.